Jul 11
24
Anyone who has been to a wedding knows that one of the most meaningful moments of the evening is when the parents of the bride and groom, as well as the maid of honor and best man arrive at the microphone to give a wedding toast. There are a ton of ways that people can give a great toast, and there are equally as many ways that people can give a terrible toast that not only falls flat, but may even create a bit of awkwardness for everyone. While it may seem a bit too much for a lot of people, giving a wedding toast does not need to be too difficult to get through successfully. There is a great, of all people, strength coach named Dan John, who has said that “The Goal, is to keep The Goal, The Goal.” Why would I quote a strength coach when talking about different ways to deliver a wedding toast? Simple, the goal is to keep the goal, the goal. Got it? If you’re still a little hazy, keep reading along.
Too many people who are delivering a wedding toast cannot decide if they should just wing it, or if they should practice a written speech repeatedly until they are presidential in their delivery. Should humor be included? Or should you get up there and just speak from the heart, and possibly start crying when the emotions build up? These are all questions people have. Aside from coming up with appropriate material for the speech, the delivery can cause a serious amount of anguish when trying to plan your wedding toast.
Nobody can tell you if you should be a little bit of a joker, or if you should just get up there and lay your feelings out on the line. What we can tell you though is the following:
All pretty easy right? You would think so, but even with these basic three pointers, a lot of people have a hard time preparing a good wedding toast.
In that case, here are a few good wedding toast ideas. One is to find a good, meaningful childhood story that can effectively illustrate the true nature of who you are talking about. Talking about how someone would share their sandwich with you when you forgot yours at home in grade school is a great way to show that the bride or groom is a really kind and thoughtful person.
Stories about how the happy couple met, or when the parents and the soon to be son or daughter-in-law first met also make for a good start to a wedding toast.
You get the idea aobut what is good starter material and what isn’t. Just remember to keep the wedding toast to a reasonable length, maybe 5 minutes or less, and to be sure you have a speech that will leave people smiling, even if they’re not howling with laughter.
Finally, enjoy actually giving the toast. Being asked to be in the wedding party is a serious honor that you should relish. And for the parents, just know that this is a great time to tell the world about your joy for your child and their new spouse. A wedding toast doesn’t have to be so hard now, does it?
Weddings may very well be the most steeped in tradition of all of the cultural institutions, but that does not really apply to the wedding toast. Ranging from finding the perfect dress, finding a source for music, getting catering squared away, it all fits in with a basic template of a wedding plan, that is either scaled up or down. However, the most overlooked, and stressful of the traditions is the wedding toast. Sure, we first said it isn’t really slapped with traditional expectations the same way as everything else, but it is kind of a big deal on the big day for the bride and groom. Those who are closest to the bride and groom all take turns standing up, and delivering a one of a kind toast.
Sometimes this honor, and a wedding toast is indeed an honor, is designated only for the maid of honor, best man, perhaps the father of the bride, or a select few other people. Whether you are giving the wedding toast, or are the bride or groom, this isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly. The reason is that if someone is known to get a little out of hand, the wedding toast can go from fun, entertaining, heartfelt, all of the above, or to DISASTER. Here are a few tips on how to deliver a great wedding toast.
If you are the bride and groom, tell those who you would like to give a toast a couple of weeks before the wedding. Springing your request of a nice wedding toast a day or two before is a great way to make sure that the speaker is shaky and even more nervous. Not everyone is a natural speaker, and comfortable talking in a large group of people. Giving people a good heads up on the wedding toast is not only courteous, but may really help them out, to help make YOUR day great.
Brevity is key if you are giving the wedding toast. Nobody wants to sit through a ten minute orationon everything you have been through with the bride or groom. Weddings are fun, and need to keep moving with the celebration. Short and sweet is a great way to go with a wedding toast.
Practice does not make perfect, but perfect practice does. Figuring that you will go in and wing your wedding toast is a path to disaster. These things can get pretty emotional, and if you are not somewhat prepared for this, it could put a damper on the toast. nobody is saying that having feelings of joy to the point of getting choked up is a bad thing, but it would be nice to be prepared for it to at least some extent. Make sure that the speech has been filtered so if you do get flustered, you do not let some inappropriate remark fly during your wedding toast.
And finally, the wedding toast itself. Or rather, the toast itself. What does this mean. Toast the damn wedding couple. It doesn’t matter how you say it, but remember that a wedding toast is not a wedding roast, and that you need to be sure to keep the attention positive and squarely on the happy couple will ensure that you’ll be fine.
Stay tuned for most wedding toast ideas and tips.
Jun 11
23
What better time than now to tell you why I started a wedding toast website, of all things. The best reason being that I just attended, in the last month or so a wedding for a very good childhood friend. And while I knew everyone at the wedding, some for well over 20 years, I hated to say that every speech was rough, to say the least. Wedding toasts and speeches are difficult for a lot of reasons. Between the emotions, the pressure of speaking in front of a lot of people, and just the general desire by most to deliver a heartfelt and entertaining speech, things get a little shaky sometimes.
Which brings us to 10 ways that you can effectively ruin a wedding toast.
1 ) Rambling
One issue people have is getting that deer in the headlights look and then they start talking…. And talking, and talking. Like I said earlier, wedding toasts and speeches can be difficult for the attendees, even if it is a happy sort of difficulty. But, when the best man or maid of honor is so nervous that they get stuck talking about random experiences with the bride or groom with no clear point, it tends to get extremely uncomfortable. Which means that you need to treat your wedding toast like you would a school speech. Practice, edit the speech, and know what the point of the speech is. Is it to talk about the time you hung out each Wednesday watching a ball game? Or is it to talk about how great the bride or groom is, and how lucky they are to have each other? This should not take the better part of a half hour.
2 ) Saying Sorry
If you are not a great speaker, you don’t need to explain so with an apology. If you are bombing the wedding toast because you are at a loss for words, just explain that you are at a loss for words. The reason you don’t want to say sorry, even if you are, is that you don’t want to draw negative attention in any way to yourself or the situation. Turn it into a positive. As a basic example if you get caught up in the moment “Wow, I just don’t know what else I can say. He/She has been so great as a friend (sister, cousin etc) and I am so happy for the two of you.”
3 ) Giving a Wedding Toast With a Buzz
This should go without saying, but cool it with the booze until you have given your speech. There is plenty of time to tie one on, if that’s your thing, after you have given the speech. And no, don’t start drinking to calm your nerves. Nobody wants to hear a sloppy, slurring wedding toast.
4 ) Lay Off Controversial Topics
If the bride is Catholic and the groom is Presbyterian, this doesn’t matter when it comes to your speech. Just like democrat vs republican or anything else that can cause a stir. Even if you are only trying to point out that opposites attract, you can do it without making a point of controversial topics. Leave the controversial stuff to the shock jock radio hosts and award show hosts.
5 ) Making the Speech about You
Sure, giving a wedding toast puts you in the spotlight, but don’t be fooled into believing people want to hear about you the whole time. You are giving a speech about the bride and groom, remember that. Any story that does not directly relate to the two of them shouldn’t be in your toast unless it leads or directly relates into them.
6 ) Abrupt Ending
If you are going to give a speech, it should be like a story. A beginning, middle, end, and the main point, or climax of the story has to be in there. If you are in what the audience thinks is a good wedding toast, that for you is actually the end, expect to hear crickets for a couple of seconds before the faint applause begins. Know how you are going to wrap it up before you start.
7 ) Bringing up Negative Past
You don’t really want to talk about exes, or about how much of a hound dog the groom was before he settled down. You can talk about all the great times, but if it looks like the bride and groom maybe weren’t the greatest people in their younger days, this is not good.
8 ) Turning The Toast Into an Advice Session
Sure, the married folks may be in position to give advice, but it can go too far rather quickly. Nobody is there for marriage counseling. Keep it lighthearted, and perhaps a little funny if you can pull it off.
9 ) Saying Inappropriate Things
If you always thought the bride or groom was attractive, you can talk about how great they look together, for a second. What you cannot do is talk about how you were so into one or the other, or that you used to think about if you had exchanged places with either of them. This also goes for profanity. Cussing during a wedding toast is a no-no.
10 ) Not Speaking Clearly
You need to make sure, even with a microphone, that you are speaking clearly. Generally, this means speaking a little slower than you might usually, and louder. There are resources all over the place on effective public speaking. Speak loudly and clearly. In this case, it is fine to ask of the audience can hear you as you start. Just make sure not to apologize or talk about how terrible of a speaker you are.
We’ll go ahead and end it right there and come back in another day or two with some great wedding toast ideas for both the maid of honor, best man, and maybe something for the parents.
We’ve got some great stuff on wedding toast ideas coming real soon!
When it comes to giving a wedding toast, the question is almost always whether you should try and be a little funny through a personal story, or if you should just keep things heartfelt. There is no real answer as to whether you should include some humor, but you need to be careful, and make sure that you actually are funny, and do not come off as some sort of a dork or a joker in the worst sense. So here are just a few tips on how you can give a great, and funny wedding toast, without coming off like a dunce.
P.S. – Remember that even if you feel like you’ve got your speech nailed and ready to go, that it’s not going to be like the movies. It’s okay to be a little nervous, as long as you’re genuine. So, let’s get to some advice on using humor in your wedding toast.
Avoid Using ‘Regular’ Jokes
A lot of people think about humor, and figure they’ll just tell a standard joke and get a rousing round of laughter. During a wedding toast though, this is not what you want to do. At least, this is usually not what you want to do. The main reason is that if you trip up on the joke, or if you underestimated just how funny the joke really is, you’re going to come off as a bad comedian. If you have ever been to a comedy show where a comedian bombed and that uneasy tension and level of discomforts spread throughout the room, you get it. If you do want to incorporate jokes of any sort into the wedding toast, try this.
Figure out a story, keeping in mind the need for it to be appropriate, that has humor to everyone and tell it. Keep it natural, and light hearted. Make sure that it is applicable to the situation (read: no stories about crazy nights in Vegas). A good wedding toast is one that makes people smile or laugh, and realize how special the newly married couple really is.
Tell a Real Story
This goes in with what we were talking about above. Weddings are usually occasions with a lot of friends and family who know the bride and groom pretty well. However, not everyone knows each other all that well. Try and think of a story for the wedding toast that almost anyone there could identify with, and get a friendly chuckle over.
Practice
If you are not naturally humorous, or even if you are and get nervous speaking in front of large groups of people, you need to practice. While it may seem like big name comedians are just flying by the seat of their pants on stage, that usually isn’t the case. Treat your wedding toast like any other speech that requires a high level of excellence and practice a lot. The more comfortable you get with your wedding toast, the more freely you will be able to get through it on the big day. Odds are, if you are given the honor of making a toast, you may be a little emotional as well. Make sure you are comfortable with the entire toast, and especially with the funny story.
More importantly, practicing the toast at least a few times through will help you make sure that your wedding toast is not too long, and not too short. Using the example of the comedy show again, just think about a comedian that comes out and has the audience laughing so hard they can barely breathe. That goes on for maybe thirty minutes or so, and everyone is having a great time. Then, all of a sudden he or she just seems to fizzle out, but their act drags on. Every once in a while, there is another great joke, but the great moments have already come and gone.
While nobody would expect, or want you to make a wedding toast lasting thirty minutes, you get the idea. Make sure the toast in general is concise, and that the story is whittled down to the essentials and gets the point, and the humor, across well. Descriptive without being wordy is the formula.
Don’t Be Rude
One of the biggest mess ups that people make when they are trying to be funny is that they start insulting people. And while harsh humor can be funny at times, it does not make friends. Of course, by now, it goes without saying that a wedding toast is not really the place to start hurling insults around in the attempt to get a few laughs. Even if you do get some laughs, they may be of the token, and quite uncomfortable variety. Making playful jests is alright, but making fun of either the bride or groom is the formula for a disastrous wedding toast. This isn’t funny, but it is hurtful and a great way to mess up a relationship. If you aren’t sure, either don’t do it, or ask an opinion on how to clean it up and make it appropriate.
Vulgarity Isn’t a Good Idea
While making dirty jokes may seem fine and funny when you are together out of the public eye, a wedding toast is the LAST place you should be dropping f-bombs. This is especially true if children are going to be present, but even if not, it’s not a good idea to include this sort of humor into the wedding toast.
And that is really it. It is not that hard to give a great speech at a wedding, at least on paper it isn’t. That is really the reason this site is set up, and that these articles are being posted. Nobody wants to see you bomb out, when the opportunity is great for a heartfelt, meaningful and FUNNY toast to the newly married couple.
Good luck, and let us know if any of these tips help you give a great wedding toast.